Behind The Green (And Other) Doors

Do you remember that old song from the fifties – The Green Door?

It was originally recorded by Jim Lowe but Shakin Stevens had a hit with it in 1981.

I was on a quest to find some green doors the other day because I had that song stuck in my head. Surprisingly, green doors are not as plentiful as you might think. It’s also tricky taking photos of front doors because people think you are some kind of stalker. If I see someone in their garden I will always ask them if I can take a photo of something. Most people say yes, but some people cross-examine you regarding your intentions.

The best types of photos are the surreptitious ones where you hide in the bushes. The way I look at it is if I ever apply for a job as a private eye or a member of the paparazzi, I have already done most of the training….

Anyhoo, I eventually found some green doors.

These are not the fanciest of green doors.

These ones are a little better.

And this one is the poshest of green doors you could imagine.

I wonder if there’s an old piano and they play it hot behind any of those green doors?

As I was walking along, looking at the different colours of front doors, hiding every now and then in the bushes, I began to think that maybe the colour of a front door predisposes people to form an opinion of the type of person who lives inside.

Blue and black doors are sensible, kind of classic. I imagine someone called Felicity or Margaret living behind these doors, working in education or maybe office administration. The furniture will be sensible, practical and very comfy. The house will be tidy and cleaned regularly. You know where you are with a blue or black door.

Red doors are a different kettle of fish, entirely. Slightly more frivolous in nature; could be an arty type living there – maybe a graphic designer called Cedric or a life coach called Matilda who thinks bold colours are best. On the other hand, a conservative accountant named Eunice who has always wanted to be cool could instal a red front door on her quest to change her image. You just never know with doors.

And this brown door reminds me of a country homestead. See the horseshoe? I think Ethel Mae must live in this house. With her cowboy boots and tasselled jacket, not to mention her fondness for baking pie. Yeehaw.

This white door obviously belongs to a family of minimalists. They wear monochrome outfits, have sleek, bobbed haircuts, cook with liquid nitrogen and call everyone “Daaaaahling.”

I really like these doors a lot. Bernie lives in 8A and Ernie lives in 8B. They have lived next to each other for so long that their body clocks, minds and motivations are completely in sync. When Bernie rushes out to borrow a cup of sugar, Ernie has it ready and waiting at the door. When Ernie has people over for dinner and runs out of wine glasses, Bernie pops over with a tray of them. You couldn’t help but be neighbourly living in 8A and 8B.

But this door is the grooviest of them all. You would have to be a cool kind of person to live there. Maybe a rock guitarist, or a hip hairdresser, or maybe even a B-Boy, breakdancing in the hallway. You certainly wouldn’t be a librarian or a nun.

Front doors. Who knew they had so many stories to tell?