Sometimes when a telemarketer calls, I put on a breathy, girlie voice (like I’ve just stepped out of the Playboy mansion) and pretend to be the babysitter so I can get out of taking the call.
CONFESSIONS OF A MISANTHROPIC MIND # 2
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Selma In The City 
I belong to one of these ‘unwanted call’ services … if any telemarketers slip through the net (happens rarely) my response consists of two sentences:
‘This number is ex-directory. and on a ‘no telemarketers’ list. Where did you get it from?’
and ‘Please remove my number from your list, and do not call me again’
And, only once: ‘Which part of ‘****off!’ don’t you understand?’
I realise these people have a job to do … but I’d rather sweep the streets!
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Keith, you are so right. It would indeed be a terrible job. I’d rather flip burgers or be a dishwasher. Even a door-to-door salesman would be slightly more palatable.
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I let my son answer the phone when they call. He makes up all kinds of stories. He will go along with them and then back out at the end, or, sometimes he just likes telling them to fuck off. Either way, thats HIS job in my house. Fielding telemarketers from any contact with me.
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That is so funny – my son loves doing that too. He is great at accents and often pretends to be Chinese or Russian. it is hilarious!
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