My wireless has been down for the past two days, so I do apologise for my delay in replying to all of your wonderful comments. Don’t you hate it when you have to call your ISP and you get that horrible main menu?
For information on your account press 1
To upgrade your service press 2
If you are experiencing technical difficulties press 3
If you are experiencing technical difficulties and wish to hear our pre-recorded message on tips and tricks to use when your system is down press 4
To speak to a customer service representative press 5 for accounts, 6 for upgrades, 7 for technical difficulties involving broadband, 8 for technical difficulties concerning cable, 9 for technical difficulties concerning wireless
To hear your options again press 11
With an apprehensive heart I pressed 9. I was asked to enter my password. A robotic voice said : “Password invalid, please try again.” After three more attempts my password was still invalid and I was asked to return to the main menu. Dejected, I screamed ‘Noooooooooooo!’ into cyberspace, but in cyberspace no one can hear you scream.
I decided to leave it for a bit and called back an hour later. The main menu had been replaced by a pre-recorded message – We regret to inform you that we are experiencing technical difficulties. Access to your service may be limited. We are endeavouring to rectify the problem as soon as possible and apologise for any inconvenience.
Then the line went dead, eerily silent. I imagined a wind whistling over a deserted plain and an army of cyborgs with an enormous screwdriver trying to fix a server covered in thick, black dust. And I wondered, in the land where the internet is King, where have all the people gone?
So good to be back. Going to catch up on all my blog reading…..
Selma In The City 
I know how you feel … I had to go through a number of hoops to find out whether I left my umbrella at the bank when I visited my local branch. Including my account number, password and my mother’s maiden name (which would be news to my mother … since her maiden name is a matter of public record, I gave my aunt’s maiden name, and I have seven aunts!)
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Keith – forgive me for laughing at the loss of your umbrella but I can just imagine you having to go through all that fuss merely to find out if you’d left it at the bank. Are you sure John Cleese wasn’t the branch manager ? That is too funny! Just as well you picked the right aunt.
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I was crafty: I now know the ex-directory number of my branch!
They rang me with a question, and I hit 1471 when they’d finished!! 🙂
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