YOU SAY YOU WANT A RESOLUTION.

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I ate a pomegranate on New Year’s Eve and in the morning my lips were stained the colour of rubies. My hair smelled of smoke from the fireworks we watched being launched off the Harbour Bridge. There were grassblades in the bottom of my bag from sitting on the ground. My fingernails were stained silver from lighting a hundred sparklers for excited children. Even in the afternoon of the next day I could still smell the strawberry-scented bubble mixture the children had used to make hundreds of tiny bubbles float upwards, glimmering and twirling in the orange and mauve evening light, pausing before they disappeared as if farewelling the remaining moments of the year they had been born in.

I love New Year’s Eve. I hate New Year’s Eve. It’s like looking through an old photograph album and growing misty-eyed over the way things have changed. Or the way they haven’t. Never does the shifting of the second hand hold such power. At one moment it is an old year, the next it is a new one. It’s exciting, confronting, joyful, sorrowful, fleeting and infinite all at the same time.

I don’t like making resolutions any more. It’s like standing in front of the mirror and picking to pieces everything you see, then making plans to change it. I can’t live up to that kind of scrutiny. So all I plan to do is work hard, laugh more, appreciate the people I love and do the best I can. I can do those things. I can keep them alive.

HAPPY 2008!

16 thoughts on “YOU SAY YOU WANT A RESOLUTION.”

  1. That’s how I feel about New Year’s too – an odd nostalgic mix of happy and sad.

    Of course I don’t ever SAY that as beautifully as YOU do.

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  7. Wonderful post! I love the description of the bubbles floating away.

    New Years Day is one of my favorite holidays. The year always ends on such a frantic “gotta do it all, get it all done, do it better, do it again with the next family group” that by the time December 31st rolls around, I’m ready to wave good-bye to the lot of it.

    On the other hand, 2007 wasn’t a bad year for me, so there are a few things make me misty-eyed. My older boy will graduate this summer and enter college in the fall. I miss him already.

    But 2008 will bring new joys, new adventures. January means there’s a whole year ahead of us, a new slate to fill up, screw up, fix up, and relish every moment we can.

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  10. I like the rose and butterfly print. You’ve described those conflicting feelings of being perched on the beginning of something new but still not wanting to let go of the old.

    New Years’ resolutions have never worked for me – I start off great and then taper off and spend the rest of the year feeling down because I haven’t stuck with my resolutions. Now I don’t make them and life’s better.

    I’m enjoying your short fiction.

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  11. I also gave up making new year’s resolutions long ago. Now I just start thinking about what I would like to accomplish, what needs to be cut back, and make sure I have room left for the things that really make life enjoyable. Then I just gently embrace my goals. If I don’t get a good start on them right away, that’s fine. I think my only standing resolution is not to beat myself up about getting off track on my goals anymore – just get back up and back on the track with no guilt trip in between!

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  12. Well, you know it’s gonna beeeeh….. aallriiiight! (doing air guitar) Now, you got me singing again. 🙂

    But you’re right, though. That’s about all we can do. Heck, that’s about all I want to do. And it’s definitely alright.

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  13. Hi Selma,
    This is a well-crafted post. I have similar feelings about New Year’s Eve. I’ve really mellowed in my approach to goals, resolutions, and the urge to do something meaningful on that night.

    I like the look of your blog. It’s bed-time for me, but I’ve bookmarked you so I can make a more leisurely visit when the weekend start in…..19 hours.

    Thanks for visiting my blog. You are one of two readers who actually ventured into the Persian poery site. You might become part of the conversation that TR (7 comments above) and I are having about Rumi vs. Hafez.

    I’ll be back soon. I’ll look forward to a visit from you again.

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  14. INGRID – it is an emotional time of year, isn’t it?

    ANTHONY – Sadly, I always remember things on New Year’s Day now. After having major surgery five years ago I can no longer tolerate alcohol so I am the most sober partygoer in the southern hemisphere. My very unkind hubby calls me ‘a cheap date.’ LOL.

    TR – so lovely of you to stop by. I am coming to visit you right now!

    MELEAH – I love your resolution. It is great fun, just like you!

    KAREN – very wise words. I also feel sad about your big, grown-up boy. Awww, where does all that time go?

    TRAVELRAT – I love celebrating Chinese New Year. We always go into Chinatown with our lanterns. It’s brilliant!

    MICHAEL C – please do. You already offer so much warmth, spirit and joy of living through your writing that I should resolve to be more like you!

    KATE – lovely to meet you. I agree, life is better without resolutions. They’re too restricting.

    DAOINE – good on you. They really are words to live by. I’m tired of beating myself up too. I want to have more fun!

    CHRIS – I have been singing ‘Revolution’ ever since I posted. One of my favourite songs ever!

    CAROLINE – I read a lot of poetry. It is one of my treats. And I love Persian poetry. It is magical!

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