Winners Are Grinners!

I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to complete the Script Frenzy organised by the same people who do NaNoWriMo. 100 pages in 30 days. I’m probably about half way through the finished product but I’m really pleased with how it’s turned out. It’s called Two Edges and is about a woman whose husband dies leaving her bankrupt. She doesn’t know what to do and inadvertently gets involved in an armed robbery which nets her a lot of cash. She decides to ‘turn to crime’ to alleviate her debt crisis. It’s a black comedy with a hint of drama. I’ll post some of it here soon.

Yesterday was another morning spent at court – with edifying results. My sister’s lawyer advised her to drop the case, that insisting on a full hearing would cost her upwards of twenty thousand dollars with no guarantee there would be a ruling in her favour. An AVO apparently doesn’t give you a record and is considered to be fairly meaningless by the courts. The lawyer advised her it would be in her best interests not to waste the court’s time unless she wanted the AVO dropped because she planned to reconcile with her husband.

Then he asked the question that had been on everyone’s lips :

‘Do you intend at some stage in the future to reconcile with your husband?’

We held our breath, collectively. The birds were silent in the trees. Traffic stopped.

‘Not ever,’ Millie replied. ‘I never want to see him again.’

Inside we were all doing the happy dance but we retained our cool, trying to look all prim and proper in front of the lawyer. We exhaled simultaneously. A weight had been lifted.

In the evening we had dinner here and got into one of those silly conversations only families can have. It involved an article my father had read about the possibility of transplanting robotic parts into humans in the future. We each had to opt for the body part we’d most like to become robotic. I opted for robotic legs so I could run like my comic superhero, The Flash. My Mum opted for robotic eyes so she could see through walls. Millie opted for robotic hands so she could play an entire concerto without stopping to flex her fingers. Aunt Jo chose a robotic mouth. I got a slap for saying I thought she had already successfully received that part. Haha.

Then it came to the boy. What would he choose? ‘I would have a cyborg testicle,’ he piped up. ‘Just the one. Everyone would call me Freaky One Robot Ball Guy. I would be totally unique.’ Why am I not surprised that my pre-pubescent son who admits that he and his mates spend much of their time at school making penis jokes would choose part of his genitalia to become robotic? You don’t need a robotic testicle to be unique, my son. You’re already there!

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20 thoughts on “Winners Are Grinners!

  1. selma,, do you use a program to write the screen plays… i would love to write them,, but writing style is so “un technical” i am afraid i would be discouraged with all the indents capitals,, etc….. all the time….. let me know….

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  2. GERALDINE – I am the same re. the grammar. It’s getting worse by the minute. Sometimes I read things back and it seems I’m speaking in some strange alien language. You and I need to give our eyes a rest!

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  3. Congrats on completing the script thingy. That’s very impressive and I can’t wait to read it.

    Do you think Millie really means it about not returning to her husband? I hope for all concerned that she does. Is the dog still with him btw or have you managed to organise a dog napping.

    I love your son’s sense of humour.

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  4. Ok, so first I breathe a BIG sigh of relief at Millie’s answer, then I spray a mouthful of tea all over my monitor at your son’s answer. Yeah, I’ve got two boys, so those kinds of answers are pretty common (still funny enough to make cleaning the monitor the next task).

    Congratulations on the script frenzy win, m’dear! Woo-hoo! your idea sounds marvelous, and I’m sure with you writing it, we should be expecting to see you at the Oscar’s. Can’t wait to hear more about it.

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  5. Oh my dear, the boys don’t get any better as they age. They just become more circumspect at what they say in front of Mom.

    Your week is looking up! HOW WONDERFUL of you to finish the script frenzy! Can’t wait to see it!

    And boy oh boy I hope Millie can find the gumption to stick with this – cuz you know he’s going to come around, singing his sad little song.

    Bastards.

    Wait. Maybe I’m projecting. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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  6. Wat to go, Millie! And, don’t worry about the AVO. If it’s anything like our ASBO, it’s about as effective as a speeding ticket in banjaxing your life.

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  7. So much yayness about your sister. And rock on about the screenplay. I just started one myself and am finding it an interesting departure from novel-writing. (Read: most of the time, I find myself thinking, “WTF am I doing?”)

    Also, I TOTALLY want a cyborg testicle. Just to carry around in my pocket.

    Is that weird?

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  8. KATE – he definitely is a menace to society, that one. 😉

    PAISLEY – I do use a program, it makes it much easier. All those indents – forget it! A friend of mine loaned me his software but I do believe you can download some very similar programs free on the net. I’ll find out for you.

    GYPSY – I am praying she means it. She seems adamant. All I can do is keep hoping. And yes, my son has a very sick sense of humour. He is naughty, that one!

    KAREN – I wouldn’t even consider going to the Oscars unless you came with me. Now that would be a night to remember, wouldn’t it? Maybe one day….

    TRAVELRAT – they sound the same. Apparently, they are the bane of the judicial system because they waste so much time.

    HEATHER – I thought that too with the screenplay. All the dialogue and internal and external scenes freak you out to begin with but you get used to it. I enjoyed it but it was definitely harder than I thought.

    You carrying a cyborg testicle around in your pocket is a short story waiting to happen. I’ve even got the opening line for you – ‘He had a cyborg testicle in his pocket, but it didn’t mean he was pleased to see me.’ And that definitely needs a wink. 😉

    NANNA – my comments are playing up. I just lost half of the post I had written and then it came back and then disappeared again. Oh WordPress, why do you taunt me so?

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  9. NANNA – I found your original comment. They’d put you in the spam queue. I don’t know what’s going on.

    Boys will definitely be boys. And I pray that bastard brother-in-law of mine doesn’t come round singing his sad little song, weakening my sister’s resolve. I will be mad as hell if that happens!

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  10. Hi Selma–Kudos to your sis. She will, as other readers have noted, need your support….And you sound like you’re accomplishing ALOT with your writing–which does NOT surprise me, as I think you’re tops!
    And your son’s wicked sense of humor is not a surprise either–his Mum has an edg-y sense of life, too!Hilarious, that son of yours!

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  11. Sorry I’ve been so quiet – I have to go back and catch up on what you’ve written, but I wanted to say how thrilled I am for you and your family, and especially Millie. It sounds like she’s taken a bit step forward – what a relief!

    Now I’m off to read how this all came about….

    *hugs*

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  12. MELEAH – you are lovely. It means so much to me for you to say that!

    LISA – my son is a bit of a comedian. He makes us all laugh. We have probably created a monster by encouraging him!

    DAOINE – I’m glad you’re back and hope you are OK. Yay. Now I feel happy!

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  13. Hahahaha successfully received that part comment…is going in the things overheard page next time I do it..too funny.

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