Fire Down Below

blowtorch_by_kimchicrusader

One of today’s news headlines concerns a story of the Australian woman who suspected her husband was having an affair and well, set fire to his penis.

And I thought Lorena Bobbitt was always going to be the one with the main claim to fame on that line of revenge.

Unfortunately, as the man attempted to put the fire out, it spread into an uncontrollable blaze and he died. Couldn’t she just have cut all the buttons off his shirts or put superglue in his hair gel? Found out who his girlfriend was and texted her to say he had the clap? Put itching powder in his underwear? You know, normal revenge stuff.

Now he is dead and she is charged with murder. Wouldn’t it have been best to punch him in the head and just walk away? Now her life is ruined. I do believe revenge is a dish best served cold.

{Image by KimChiCrusader at Deviant Art.}

19 thoughts on “Fire Down Below”

  3. Now being a country bred boy, I know how easily a brush fire can get out of control… all it takes is more fuel, you know, more brush.

    I’m guessing this guy was rather hirsute in all directions from the ‘seat’ of the blaze, and there could’ve been a southerly wind brought on by panic… and… WHOOSH!!!

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  4. BEAR – you are naughty. We really shouldn’t laugh at what is, in fact, a tragic story. But I guess I’m really the naughty one because I started it!

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  5. I sent that page straight to my husband as a warning – don’t mess with us women, we get nasty!
    In a way it’s a shame that with stories as funny as this one, we miss the tragic side of things whilst we’re too busy laughing.

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  6. VIC – I know. I mean, the guy was burnt to death. It really is shocking. The headlines in Oz have been all about the Penis Fire. So tacky. Where do you go from there? Really and truly. It is such a shame his wife couldn’t talk to him about her fears. I get how angry she was, I really do, but to act in such an extreme way is just unthinkable. The more I think about it, the more I am freaking out. Wow.

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  7. A of all, how does somebody douse a man’s penis with a flammable fluid and he not wake up? Honestly.

    B of all, the whole “I just wanted to burn his penis so it belonged to me” thing is…what? I mean, I’m not sure a burnt penis is something I’d want to lay claim to.

    C of all, hi. Her KIDS were in the house. Never mind the whole issue of the house burning down, how was she going to explain the fact that their dad had a burnt penis?

    Craziness.

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  9. This one hits below the belt.

    Sorry.

    On the bright side, the guy might not have wanted to live without his “mini me”, so maybe it’s for the better he died. But what if really wasn’t having an affair?

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  11. Heather totally stole my comment.

    She’s got her kids in the house, and still she sets her husband on fire. Now she’s going to jail and her kids have no parents. Good one. (Although if she’s going to set her husband on fire, she is probably not the most stable of parents.)

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  12. HEATHER – exactly. Who wants a burnt penis? It’d be like the last sausage on the barbie that had been burnt to a crisp that nobody wanted. What was she thinking with the kids there? She was obviously so enraged she lost all sense for a moment. What I don’t get is why she didn’t attack him as soon as he came home. Why did she wait till he was in bed? Totally insane stuff.

    GERALDINE – what a way to go. What a way to go!

    RICHARD – Hahaha. But that’s the thing. What if he wasn’t having an affair? She was obviously one of those shoot first ask questions later types. Scary.

    MELEAH – it’s terrifying, isn’t it? He must have been in agony.

    NAT – definitely not the most stable of parents. I wonder if she thought about the kids at all. It really is very sad.

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  15. While I understand the emotion and rage I don’t think anyone is really worth going to jail for. Now the poor kids don’t have any parents and no home and all because she wanted to burn his adulterous penis to a crisp. Seems a bit…well let’s just say….a few more minutes thought probably wouldn’t have gone astray.

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  16. ROMANY – no one is worth going to jail for. She’ll never get over his supposed adultery now as she would have if she’d just left him. That one act will shape the rest of her life. It’s a tragedy, really.

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