I have my entry up at Jason’s ‘Ascension’ contest over at his blog The Clarity Of Night.
If you like reading really short fiction there are some brilliant entries over there.
This is it. 250 words inspired by Jason’s wonderful photo.
The scarred part on my wrist throbbed as the trains trundled past.
The skin grows over the wound but it doesn’t make you forget why it’s there.
I looked at the tracks. Hot metal smell like burning fat. I imagined myself falling, being crushed under the power of the machine.
I saw a disposable cup blown to safety by the speed of the train’s passing. What if I was light enough to be blown to safety?
I couldn’t risk it.
So I headed for the roof. Twenty storeys up. Once you were falling from that height, you kept falling. No chance of a reprieve.
The escalator gave off a blue sheen. The colour of the centre of a match flame. Everything was different in this light. Faded 8mm film. I wondered how the critics would review the ending.
A little girl on the down escalator waved at me as we passed, both at exactly the same point for an instant, neither down nor up. ‘It’s a moving staircase,’ she said. Quaint, unexpected turn of phrase.
I turned around and saw her getting on my escalator. Going up. She had on a long blue dress with a pale blue sash. All dressed up.
I alighted, opening the door to the fire escape and freedom. She was behind me, shuffling up the stairs.
‘I’m lost ,’ she said.
She held out her hand. Such a small hand, gentle as a wing.
My resolve shifted.
‘I’ll help you find your way,’ I said.
Thank goodness for lost little girls.
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I like that the little girl save her (the narrator, for some reason I read it as woman) by needing to be save, the needs of others always has a great impact even if a little thing as being lost somewhere, I guess the little girl mirrors the narrator’s feelings
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Wow, your talent continues to amaze me Selma.
This is WONDERFUL! And what an original and unique take on the prompt. Your style of writing adds so much to every line too. I certainly know one of the reader’s favs I will be picking in Jason’s contest. Bravo. 🙂
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PS: Just stopped over at Jason’s again. The comments for your entry are piling up over there. Again, wonderful work! :<) Good luck with the contest.
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Perfect, ascencion, redemption through innocence and all in blue, the blues. Is it a voting competition? I will go look.
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such a stretch across the emotional bridge. i like it. 🙂 good luck!
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ROMANY:
A little girl has smiled at me once or twice and made the day seem brighter. Sometimes that’s all it takes.
LISSA:
you’re right. I do think the needs of others can change someone’s point of view. It has happened to me.
GERALDINE:
thanks so much, hon. There are some amazing stories over there. Some really talented writers (including you). It’s brilliant!
PAUL:
I think you can only vote if you’ve contributed a story, but I do thank you for the thought. It means a lot.
DANA:
lots of emotions, for sure. I’m glad it was just a story. Whew!
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when I need someone…Im going to call on YOU to find my way. Terrific Job! Just terrific.
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MELEAH :
I was just playing around with the format. I’d like to host the blog myself so I can add whatever I want but am worried it will be too technical for me.
And you can call on me, anytime. I mean that!
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and I almost didn’t know where I was when I came over here. Such changes!
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Very nicely done. Gritty, tension filled, a dilemma and a great ending. What more can one ask for?
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ANTHONY:
Wow. You make me sound like a professional. Cheers, mate!!!
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I want to know how you are able to put so much into such a small space. I think perhaps I am too wordy at time – this says it all without the words. Or maybe, the key is that you use the right words…
The serendipity of the girl being there, just at the right time – brilliant, because it’s just as life is.
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TEXASBLU:
It’s all about the rewrite with as limited a word count as this. It gets easier the more you do it. I like things like this because it is challenging and encourages me to be precise. I really need that!
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lovely piece Selma – the images are wonderful and I just love the title! Best of luck with the contest!!
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Thanks, hon. It was fun to write.
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oh sel,, that was wonderful… sometimes the tiniest outreach can bring even the most miserable back from the very edge… i really enjoyed this…..
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PAISLEY:
A little look has saved me many a time. It’s just the most precious reminder of the inherent good in the world that we often can’t see. I am so glad you liked it!
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