Tales From The ‘Hood

Betcha didn’t know I was a gangsta, did ya? You probably thought I was all mild-mannered and nice, not a thug, right? Well according to one of the hard-nosed bullies at my son’s school I am 50 Cent, Snoop Dogg and Hannibal Lecter rolled into one. I am so street they have to put me into a new category. I am Asph, short for Asphalt, the stuff they make the streets from.

You might remember there was the incident at my son’s school where a boy was punched and knocked out. The good news is he survived, the bad news is he’s having trouble walking. He won’t be returning to the school and it won’t surprise you to learn that his parents are taking legal action.

You also might remember that my son, Nick, was punched in the head. Not by the boy who knocked that poor boy out – he is in an older grade – but by one of the younger lap dogs that runs with him. After the initial punch the boy who punched Nick was put on probation but has since committed other assaults against other kids. Yet he is still at the school. And he is still hassling Nick.

He’s smart though, conniving as most of these kids are – he’s got another kid to act as his henchman. And this gormless, hapless, not-the-full-quid of a kid thinks he’s a real hard case, telling Nick he’s going to kill him and push him down the stairs and blow up his house. You name it, he’s threatened he’s going to do it.

Now Nick is not a shrinking violet and can definitely stand up to this kid. Most of the time he doesn’t take it seriously but he is getting tired of the little henchman’s constant threats.

I have left the tackling of this issue to the school and for the most part they have handled it, but the fact that it is still going on in a very sneaky, underhanded way is really getting on my goat.

I picked Nick up from school on Monday and there had been another threat from the henchman. I could feel my blood pressure rising. Lo and behold as we were driving home Nick spotted him on the other side of the road as we were stopped at the lights. I couldn’t help myself, I called out to him: “Why are you always picking on Nick?” He didn’t answer, just looked at me vacantly, his knuckles practically dragging on the ground. I was incensed :”You odious little shit!” I called out, beeping the horn loudly before driving off.

Now this is where things get interesting. I don’t know if it was because I called him something he couldn’t understand like odious or used a word of more than one syllable like little; but he went home and told his parents that I had driven round the corner, swerved up on the kerb and had attempted to kill him.

The next day, without even consulting me first, Nick was hauled into the Principal’s office and accused of being a bully. You can imagine my reaction – TOTALLY FREAKING SPEECHLESS. I mean, what do you do or say to a turn of events like that?

Nick has put up with this kid for a whole term and because I asked him from the car why he is picking on my son he makes up an entire story that the school takes seriously. Flabbergasted doesn’t even come close to describing how I feel.

The Principal and I had a meeting this morning and I just let her have it. She knew the henchman was lying but it is protocol to take every complaint seriously. So they go through the procedure. Apparently the little henchman was absolutely terrified of me and cried all night. Apparently, I’m really, really tough. Oh yeah and I saw a cow jumping over the moon with some flying pigs.

Maybe I should go all gangsta on that kid’s ass. Maybe it’s the only thing he understands. First thing tomorrow I’m gonna get me some bling and a pimp hat. Then we’ll see what he’s really made of. Welcome to the ‘hood.

20 thoughts on “Tales From The ‘Hood

  1. I…oh…it…he…


    Oh, Selma… I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

    (but I REALLY would like to see a picture of you blinged out with a gangsta hat).


  2. Oh, I’ve seen THIS scenario played out, too many times. The “politically correct” approach and not just regarding children. I would have probably yelled at this brat too Sel, I can’t hold in my emotions very well, when someone I care about is being mistreated. WOw, that is one tough place to be in. I hope there is a resolution and soon. For what it’s worth, I had an incident lately where a LONG TIME problem person in our lives was brought to his knees (so to speak) by KILLING HIM WITH KINDNESS. It literally freaked him out to be treated really well, when normally Joe and I wouldn’t even speak to the creep. All was resolved and quickly, when he crumbled shortly after that. I don’t know if any of that applies here but do keep that option in mind. It REALLY, really works. I was amazed. The pain and problems are gone! I hope yours are too and very, very soon. Hang in there…Hugs to you and your dear son. G


  3. Go Selma Go!! I’m cheering for you all the way. I detest bullies and school systems that seem incapable of putting an end to their harassment of other kids. I hope you scared the shit out of that little brat and maybe now he’ll keep his distance from your son. This story would be funny, if it wasn’t so darn sad. Why is it always the good guys that get hassled?


  4. You go, girl! No matter how old they are and how capable of standing up for themselves; sometimes we just gotta jump in there and do the mother lioness thing! Hope this all gets resolved soon.


  5. His parents are probably real bullies. …and probably bully him.

    I don’t know how any parent keeps from doing exactly what you did. Well, look at it this way, at least now the kid is afraid of you, so maybe he’ll leave NIck alone. Regardless of how it arrived, that’s the end-result scenario we want played out.


  6. Maybe he thought Odious was going to kill him?

    Wow, what a hard place to be in? I’d have been pissed too… you sorry do didn’t actually try to run him over?


  7. There was a report on bullying on Four Corners this week and I was wondering how Nick was getting on and that boy who was in hospital. You had me giggling with this post, but it is a really worrying state of affairs. I hope it works out soon.


  8. I did once ‘sort out’ another kid who’d been bullying my younger brother … and he went howling to the Headmaster, saying I’d been picking on him!

    Fortunately, the Headmaster was away, and his place was being filled by Mr. Robinson … one of the few teachers I really respected, who believed my side of the story straight away.

    I’ll never forget the expression on his face as he yelled ‘Get in here … NOW!’ at the other kid … and I’d hate to have been a fly on that office wall !


    Who would’ve thought it? Street cred at last. πŸ˜‰

    I really am laughing about it now. It just shows you that these kids can dish it out but they can’t take it. Little wimp. And I have always wanted to pimp myself up, anyway. LOL.

    I admire you for using that approach, G. I’m not sure if I could do it in this case. Yet I’m sure these kids who end up bullying are shouted at by many people; so the kindness approach actually has a lot of validity. Everything will work out, I’m sure of it!

    It just seems to be the way of the world that the good guys are picked on. I’ve never been able to understand it. I’m hoping that I have snapped ‘the henchman’ out of it and that he might keep his distance from now on.

    We do, don’t we? In the right place at the right time the Mother Lioness approach rocks!

    That’s all I want. If it works I’ll be really pleased. Hey! It’s fun being the big bad wolf!!

    Hahaha. I wish I had at least swerved. If I’m going to be accused of being a gangster I’d at least like to have done something gangster-like!

    What gets me the most with any type of bullying are the lengths you have to go to to resolve the situation. Really and truly, it should be much easier than this.

    I’m glad you got out of that one. There does seem to be a tendency among bullies to resort to playing the victim when someone confronts them. So infuriating.


  10. You go, girl!!!
    Oh, I hate it when authorities have to go through procedure. They know it’s rubbish, but procedure trashes all the right things a person may have done and makes them no better than anyone else.
    Once upon a time a person’s good reputation meant something. Not any more – so why bother?
    I remember, though, when one of my kids was being bullied – I think he was 9. Finally having enough, he motioned the bully to follow him round a corner out of sight, whereupon he punched him straight on the nose.
    Bullying ended – and no one saw.


  11. I know it’s not really a laughing matter, but Asph…I love it! I do think sometimes a bit of their own medicine is all they understand.


  12. It’s good you’re not here in Botswana- threat to kill can get you thrown in jail for a fairly substantial amount of time.

    But bullying can go very serious. It’s good you spoke to the principal and it’s also good the kid knows ‘who’s the man’.


  13. ANTHONY:
    I agree. You would think reputation would count for something. So glad your son sorted out that bully. It’s a shame but sometimes a good punch is the only way.

    Am I totally street or what? I know. A dose of their own medicine sometimes is the only answer.

    Good grief. That would be all I would need. I never give up on stopping bullying. Sadly, one of my school friends committed suicide as a result of bullying. She was only 17. I firmly believe if someone had done something she would still be alive today.


  14. hey selma, i was just gonna write something funny and shallow about you being gangsta but then i read yr last comment. that is unbearably sad. all us high school weirdos will raise a glass this weekend in tribute.


  15. JASON:
    That incident has shaped my attitudes to bullying so much. I guess I am hyper-vigilant about it as a result. I will join you in raising that glass. Thanks, hon!


  16. Aside from grinning ear to ear at your gangsta references, I felt it was too serious to really laugh. Sounds like a really, really bad movie.

    We had a taste of bullies at the community Easter egg hunt – my little 5 yr old son came home crying because he only got 2 eggs – there were three others he started to get and bullies knocked him over to take them – both my daughters saw it but were too far away to do anything. Then Redbeard mentioned how there was a child crying because he didn’t get any and a kid with an overflowing basket came walking by. The volunteer asked him if he could give up one of his eggs… and the father showed up to yank him away – carrying his other child with just as many eggs. The volunteer again asked if they could give up an egg – and the guy THREW ONE egg at the child’s feet and kept going.

    I bring that up, because it really starts at home. What these people are thinking is BEYOND me. Redbeard said he was quite glad I wasn’t there because he knew it would have been ugly. He is right – I have never been one to keep my mouth shut when I see something like that – I think their attention needs to be brought to the fact that their attitude STINKS. πŸ˜›

    Actually, as much as you can’t stand this kid, you might feel a little sorry for him – look what he’s got teaching him…..

    Naaa… go buy your bling! πŸ˜€


    That’s terrible about the Easter eggs. Makes my blood boil when I see that type of thing. Some parents instil such a sense of entitlement in their kids. It’s quite sickening.

    You know, I ‘ve been thinking a lot about this situation over the weekend and I do feel sorry for that boy. He is obviously not in a good state of mind. He wouldn’t feel the need to lash out constantly if he was.

    I heard this lecture on the radio the other day given by a Buddhist monk. One of the things he talked about was dealing with the anger many people feel when animals are mistreated. He said the only way to deal with it is with compassion. Compassion for the mistreated animal but also for the human doing the mistreating who is in a very dark place. He said that compassion doesn’t condone the behaviour or forgive it, it helps us deal with the horrible things we see. I think that principle can be applied to people too. I think compassion indicates a desire and an ability to move forward and also perhaps the ability to provide a solution. I’m going to give it a try.

    Sorry for the long-winded response. Got carried away. However, I so want some bling. Yo. Wat up???


  18. I laughed myself silly reading this – not at the injustice parts but oh my darling, my kids can tell you, much to their utter mortification, how MANY times I have done something JUST LIKE THIS!

    But I am PLEADING with you to post pictures when you get your bling on.

    Oh oh oh – must stop now – stomach muscles are crying!!


  19. NANNA:
    Don’t worry, I will get those pics up straight away when I am all pimped out. It actually makes me feel better knowing you have done something like this too. I was actually starting to feel like a lone gangsta and we all know every gangster needs a posse! LOL.


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