{Image by xercism at DeviantART}
The two sides of me are at odds. The dark and the light.
Breathing in. Breathing out.
Jostling for position.
Sometimes the mind plays tricks, assigning a magnificence to the past that was not actually the case; tainting the future with its sugar-coated moments.
Time passes more quickly than I thought it would. I remember thinking at 15 how old 30 was. I remember thinking at 40 how young 15 was.
It’s hard, stepping into the future when one half of you is reluctant. It’s not the dark side that stops me. I am not afraid of the dark; I can go anywhere with her. But the light, the light. Sometimes she impales me with her brightness.
How does anyone reconcile the two sides of their nature? Is there a median point that must be drawn in ink?
There are times when I see and times when I cannot see. It can switch so quickly I can feel the ground shift beneath my feet.
In the moments between seeing and not seeing I spot the angels in the cracks in the wall. Looking out. Whether or not they emerge will depend on which side I choose.
Each side asks the other constant questions for which there are no easy answers.
Is life just?
Not really.
Is there joy to be had?
Quite a lot.
What should we make of cruelty?
What should we make of kindness?
There are no easy answers.
If I look in the mirror – closely – I can see wispy images of one side and then the other, merging. The duality is not straining for separateness at all, but striving to be part of the whole. Striving to go on in spite of what it knows or doesn’t know about this world.
Two sides.
The changeable spirit; black and white. Maybe gold and silver. Solid and shadow. Stirred by the wind as it walks through the world.
Selma In The City 
Oh.
Sigh.
Lovely and spot on and haunting and just…Selma. All over.
LikeLike
you definitely captured a portion of me n this post.. i think life is just that light and dark and there is nothing we can do to separate them,, but staying in one or the other out of the gray,, i think that is the real trick….
LikeLike
It’s hard when the dark side takes over on too many days. But we always have to remember, the light is always there. The good people, the happy times, the memories still to be made that will be cherished. Lots to contemplate here Sel, good post.
Many hugs, G
LikeLike
What if you were to believe there was no duality, that you are one and that the one you are is one with everything else. What would the thought of no duality do to your being?
LikeLike
There is no right, no wrong… there just is….
(tobeme said it much better.)
LikeLike
HEATHER:
It was one of those semi-philosophical moments that strike close to midnight. I really must get into the habit of writing my posts in the morning. Glad you liked it!
PAISLEY:
That is definitely the trick, isn’t it? We are drawn to one or the other but not necessarily the gray. Yet gray as a colour is actually quite nice.
GERALDINE:
The other side is always there. Definitely. It is important to remember that. Hugs back to you!
TOBEME:
I think this was my clumsy attempt, my preamble, if you like towards that very conclusion. I do think we are all one – right down to the most humble creature. If we were more aware of that perhaps we wouldn’t experience the problems that we do. You always make me think. I really like that!
LikeLike
NAT:
You are absolutely right. To Be Me is the dude for this sort of thing. He presents things much more clearly than I ever could!
LikeLike
Wow. I was really touched by this sentence:
“But the light, the light. Sometimes she impales me with her brightness.’
LikeLike
MELEAH:
I’m glad you liked that one. I’m going to take Paisley’s advice and search for the gray areas. That’s the place to hang!
LikeLike
Yin and Yang. This post reminds me of Yin and Yang, the two opposite elements.
Our emotions flows in all directions, and in all manners. There is no order among them, within them; only chaos. Only when the two opposite sites of emotions unite (like happiness and sadness unite, like ying and yang unite), order comes out of chaos.
With this understanding of order, and chaos, we are able to see through, detach when necessary, and achieve a higher level of awareness subsequently.
LikeLike
I struggled with this for years. It seems I might always in some form, but not so much the way I used to. For me, it was darkness smothering the light, because I thought the light would illuminate things the world did not want to see, and yet my light would not be smothered. I am finding out that just the opposite is true – it is not the darkness the world seeks, but the light we all carry within – and the light just needs a break every now and then. That’s why we all enjoy those peaceful rainy days. 😉
LikeLike
I hadn’t really thought of it before … I would say there are, at least, three sides to most personalities:
1. The loving parent.
2. The firm, but fair ‘Boss’, who usually insists on almost everything being done by the book, but can turn a blind eye if the occasional corner is being cut.
3. The person who likes to mix with friends, and set the world to rights over a meal, a few beers or a game of volleyball or something.
But, is one of these a ‘dark side’?
(or, are they all good points, and I have an ‘evil twin’ somewhere? :D)
LikeLike
I’ve been doing some mirror work too of late. Just writing about it yesterday in fact (not online). A lot of the time we just stumble on from day to day but now and then we have to stop and look at what’s left of us in the mirror!
Is life just? No. But on the whole we can deal with it. Help helps!
x
LikeLike
Lovely , interesting post. Thanks Selma.
LikeLike
to me, this was a very complex post. i had to reread it several times. it is lovely and thought-provoking…and has me thinking…
LikeLike
I think we cold all use a little GRAY! xoxoxo
LikeLike
I love that gray area between dark and light….you know, the gray area that allows extra meals, an extra doy “off”(to volunteer, or to write)and extra compliments, just to be sweet…..
You amaze me, Selma, with your spot-on observations!
LikeLike
That should read:
day “off”(off of one’s job)
LikeLike
MOTHER HEN:
Thank you so much for that. You have explained things so well. It is when the two sides unite that chaos is banished. There is a real poetry to that. Brilliant!
TEXASBLU:
Very well put. I think that’s why I see the light as too bright sometimes. What is actually happening is that I just need a break. You are so insightful!
TRAVELRAT:
Maybe the dark isn’t really dark at all, just less bright. I agree with your three sides. I can’t see you having an evil twin lurking anywhere – you are far too well-balanced for that!
LikeLike
RACHEL:
You’re right. Help does help to deal with the injustice of life. I’m looking forward to reading your post!
LAURI:
My pleasure!
HURRICANE:
It was a little complex. I think it was a bit too rambling. Don’t know if I entirely succeeded in formulating my point!
MELEAH:
Absolutely. Give me some gray. 😀
LISA:
Couldn’t agree more. And thank you!
LikeLike