Mixed Nuts

Litlte random thoughts from me to you….

* I have been using a laptop with a touch pad for the past 8 years and now that I have the new computer I have a wireless mouse. After several weeks I have come to the conclusion that  I suffer from Wireless Mouse Dysfunction. That lil ole mouse has a mind of its own. All over the screen like a maniac. Sometimes he just won’t do what he’s told. I need to lean all the way to the end of the desk which is five and a half feet long to get that little sucker to stay on the page. It is an embarrassing problem. I mean, who can’t use a mouse? My family are laughing at me. They think my Wireless Mouse Dysfunction is almost as bad as my Angle Parking, which I think is very unfair. There should be no geometry whatsoever in parking – especially at 45 degrees in reverse. That’s just sick. I’m not the only one who has trouble.  Either way, I am a laughing stock.

* I was in a lift with this guy the other day and he farted. It was one of those bullet farts. You know the ones. It was so loud and so bullet-like I was convinced there was a sniper in the elevator shaft. I think that I must be a simple soul because it made me laugh. I always laugh at farts. Always. It doesn’t matter who does the fart – I will laugh. I’m easily pleased like that. I would even laugh at the Pope’s fart in spite of it being tantamount to sacrilege. Anyway, the guy who farted got annoyed with me. You shouldn’t laugh, he said. It’s embarrassing enough. You’re very rude.

You’ve got a nerve calling me rude, I said. You’re the one who farted.

* Don’t you hate it when you go to the cafe and the person in front of you in the queue orders the last pain au chocolat? And you get a plain croissant instead and spend the time it takes to eat it and drink your coffee thinking how much nicer it would be if there was a little bit of chocolate? And then you see the person who got the last pain au chocolat leave the cafe and you glance over at their table to see that more than half of the longed for delicacy is left on the plate?

* Having worked in retail on and off for many years I thought I had heard every demanding customer story in the book. A friend of mine who is a barista and makes approximately 500 coffees per day (which really is worth a point all of its own) told me about this one customer he has who orders bizarre things like half espresso, half decaf with a drop of hot milk that must be placed into the coffee with an eyedropper so it’s just the right amount. She is a barrister and threatens to take legal action if anyone refuses to make her coffee. My friend had to go and buy an eyedropper just to keep her happy. Some people really are too much, aren’t they?

* Something thrilling happened to me when I was bringing in my recycling bin tonight. I saw this guy in the Maple tree in the school behind our house.

He is a Tawny Frogmouth and looks like an owl even though he isn’t. He is nocturnal and lives mostly on insects. Get this – the guy eats cockroaches. I want to adopt him.

During the day he camouflages himself high up in a tree and sleeps. I think he might be living in the tree that grows over our garage. I am so excited about this because you know how much I love my birds. I think he might be a little good luck charm sent to me by the gods.

Prior to this I had only seen a Tawny Frogmouth at the zoo. I am elated.

*Image by Alicia Carter courtesy of WIRES.