Sicker Than You

I have been under the weather, sick as a dog for the past few days with a stomach flu. I say flu rather than bug because it wasn’t just digestive issues (which I won’t fill you in on because believe me – GROSS) that I experienced. I also had muscular aches and pains and a pounding headache that just wouldn’t go away. Thankfully, due to the wonders of flat lemonade, Powerade and toast, I am now feeling better.

I always find it amusing when you run into someone after you’ve been sick who just has to regale you with tales of their recent illnesses. I have come across people who were so sick and experienced such horrible bodily meltdowns they would have put Linda Blair in The Exorcist to shame. The underlying point of these tales is to prove that indisputably, they were sicker than me. Sicker than I could ever hope to be.

When you are sick or are recovering from being sick the last thing you want to hear is how your neighbour had the very same flu and puked so much she cracked the toilet bowl or that she saw something in the puke that she later found out by looking on the internet could have been part of her large intestine. Ewwww. Why do some people have to exaggerate so much? Is there a sickness charter everyone is following but me? Is there an unspoken agreement between sick people that they try and outdo one another with the severity of their symptoms so they get into the Guinness Book of Records or something? Does the over-competitiveness I see everywhere even extend into sickness?

Today I know three things.

Number One. I haven’t had a coffee for three days. Me, the coffee-aholic.

Number Two. I haven’t eaten chocolate for those same three days. (This can’t be happening…)

Number Three. I need to go and lie down.

So for now, I reserve the right to be sicker than you.

20 thoughts on “Sicker Than You

  1. Yeah, it’s pretty much the same with childbirth, weddings, divorces, and jury duty. I’ve been trying to keep this very thing in mind when someone is telling me about their experiences (unless it’s too gross, then, well, la-la-la-laaaahhh, I can’t heeeere you).

    So, you have my utmost sympathy and empathy, m’dear. Just think how lovely that first taste of coffee and chocolate will be when you’re feeling up to them. Ok, maybe don’t think of that right now…


  2. Confucius, he say:

    Go to doctor, you’ll be ill for a fortnight.
    Go to bed, and take it easy, you’ll only be ill for two weeks.

    Get well soon!


  3. I’ve never met anyone who wants to be sicker than the next person- how strange! I would want to be much, much, much less sicker than most any sick person I could throw a stick at. I’m a terrible sick person. I think everyone who knows me would prefer I never be anywhere near as sick as anyone.

    So please, Selma , get better and stop trying to be sicker than everyone else. It’s not healthy. 🙂


  4. I love your post Selma because it just rang some very big bells for me , I have a brother who I love dearly, but no matter what ails anyone he always has to go one better, For instance I have “tennis elbow” at present and he delights in telling me that when he had it that he suffered more because he is (of course) allergic to all types of pain killers.
    People who see sickness or pain as a competitive sport can be very tiresome but they can also be rather funny if you realise that they just can’t help it because they have an illness, its just not the one that they are trying to out do you on.


  5. Consider me a doctor. I am ORDERING you to consume chocolate (as soon as you can stomach it)! 🙂

    Also, I am not sure what I would do if someone talked to me about barfing up part of their intestine. WTF, people, WTF?


  6. I know what you mean about “sicker than you.” How foolish to compete over what is essentially a (albeit minor) misfortune. It’s almost as if there’s a huge contest, right? It’s all very annoying. I think that’s one of the reasons I’m so averse to talking about my health with anyone. People don’t realize when they do the “I’m sicker than you” thing they’re invalidating the way the other person feels. Sheesh.

    Anyway, I hope you feel better soon, please get some rest & take good care of yourself.


  7. Hope you get over the YUKS soon.

    ps. I have a funny little story that’ll make you laugh but I don’t think I should post it here. can you email me? I’ll write it to you.


  8. ….now I want to know what Dana’s funny little story is 🙂

    My poor little mate, I hope you are feeling better soon Sel and thanks for the tip about Powerade. I didn’t know that could help but it makes sense to replace all the electrolytes you’ve lost so I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.

    I am very lucky in that I rarely catch any viruses. In winter my family have constant colds and I sail right on through without so much as a sniffle.


  9. So sorry to hear you’ve been sick. No caffeine of ANY sort – oh my. That is MIGHTY sick! When you get back up I demand you pop two chocolates consecutively and call me in the morning. 😀

    Get well soon!!!!


  10. Hi INGRID:
    I am finally starting to feel better now. Thank goodness, I was missing out on all my blog reading!

    Hi KAREN:
    Why do people do that? I remember when I was pregnant the number of rather grisly stories about giving birth people told me. Gruesome, gruesome tales told with a glint in the eye. I was a nervous wreck.

    I had a coffee today. Nectar of the gods…..

    Confucious was a very wise man who obviously saved a lot of money on doctor’s bills 🙂

    Hi SUE:
    I am feeling much better. Thank you so much.


  11. Hi LAURI:
    Hahaha. I know. Can you imagine actually wanting to be sicker than someone else? It’s like that Munchausen’s syndrome. Too weird.

    Hi IAIN:
    My sister is the same. She is a huge hypochondriac. Her illnesses are epic in proportion. It’s true. It can be very funny.

    Hi KATE:
    I know. How gross is that? Not to mention unnecessary. Today I followed your orders. Thanks, Doc!

    Definitely. I hate to admit it but I eat chocolate daily. Without it the day just isn’t the same. Thank goodness I have recovered!

    Hi FAIQA:
    I think some people believe they are helping when they relay the horror of their illnesses. But it doesn’t help. A little TLC is much nicer. Thanks, hon.

    Hi DANA:
    I can’t wait to read it. I’ll email you shortly….

    Hi VIC:
    Thanks, hon. Ooooh, I’m getting excited about your bubby. Not long now….

    Hi GYPSY:
    I usually don’t get colds. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had a cold for about ten years. Things always hit me in the stomach. I’d much rather have a cold, I think. Gatorade is good too. I actually just prefer the taste of Powerade. Peppermint tea is quite good too. Believe me, I’ve tried them all!

    Hi TEX:
    LOL. I know I’m sick when there is no caffeine intake. I couldn’t even manage a sip of Diet Coke. My family took the fact I was ill seriously then! 😀


  12. Hi MELEAH:
    Thanks so much for you well wishes. XXX

    Hi ROSHAN:
    I am on the mend. HOORAY!!!

    Hi DAOINE:
    Feeling quite good today. Hope it continues.

    Hi NAT:
    I am better today. It is also cooler. Yesterday it hit 41 degrees C. That is no fun for anyone!


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