I wonder if it’s possible to be a method writer the way actors become method actors?
I am finishing up my book at the moment and feel as if I have become some of my characters. One of my characters in particular, is really angry, mad at the world. She struts around with an axe to grind and sometimes I really feel as if I am her.
I am she as she is me and we are me and we are all together.
I’m hoping this is a normal reaction to the way I write. You see, I act out the scenes and always read the dialogue aloud in different voices. It is the only way I have of gauging the authenticity of it. Even though it is fiction I want the dialogue to flow like an actual conversation.
It is an emotional book. I am exhausted. It is tiring enough writing it, let alone acting it out every day in my living room. I’m sure my neighbours must think I should be committed. Actually, I feel like I should be committed.
Yet it is a weird kind of osmosis that is quite thrilling. It’s as if something is being born right before my eyes. Something that is me but isn’t me, permeating my semi-permeable membrane like the unbeatable power of pure water.
It is the most tiring of times.
It is the best of times.
I wouldn’t change things for the world.
Image by rainbow art at Deviant Art.