Occasionally I engage in a bit of meditation. One of the odd character traits that assails me is a kind of scattered attention span. I have been told by the medical fraternity that it is a result of long-term depression but I think it is as result of too much T.V. and too many Danielle Steel novels as a teenager. Whatever the cause, it does prevent me from getting things done. I am the Queen of the Beginnings and the lowly pawn of Endings. I wouldn’t be surprised if my epitaph read something along the lines of : She finally finished something.
Not being able to master endings causes me a lot of anxiety and I suspect makes those close to me convinced I am a little flaky. Several friends constantly say that I waste my talents by just f**king around. They are right.
Recently I have been exploring the joys of meditation. For the longest time I have regarded meditation as a bit of new age mumbo jumbo designed for hippies and all those self help addicts with too much time for self-exploration on their hands.
But I was wrong. I was so wrong.
Meditation is an amazing way to find your focus.
I bought a meditation tape at the markets.
I also downloaded a few programs from iTunes.
Once you get past the abundance of pan pipes and waves lapping on the shore, there is a lot of peace of mind to be gained from the act of meditation.
But one thing has happened that I didn’t expect.
The people who read the meditations have these incredible voices. Gentle tones. Serene. Totally zen. Dare I say it, mellifluous.
They are not your typical broadcasting, radio voices, but they make an impact, nonetheless.
I covet the sexy serene meditation voice. It is like syrup on glass.
The sexy meditation voice has the breathiness of Marilyn Monroe.
The velvet intonation of Joanna Lumley.
And the dreaminess of Keira Knightley.
I want a voice like that. I want people to feel like they are a waterlily floating down a river when they hear me speak.
I want people to say : OMG whenever I hear her speak I feel so relaxed. It’s like lying on a beach being caressed by a hundred feathers.
I’ve listened to myself on tape. Right now I sound like Joan Crawford in the wire hangers scene from Mommie Dearest.
Or Bette Davis on crack.
But all is not lost. I have the perfect meditation to recite to help me gain that which I covet.
I am a peaceful soul ………….
My mind is filled with peace …………..
I radiate peace to the world ……………
I feel the gentle waves of peace flowing across my mind ………
And I have a kick ass, sexy meditation voice.