The photos above document my blogging free week last week. It was good to get away from the computer and get out and about and just look at things.
And just breathe.
I realised last week that I have been carrying around a lot of grief.
Grief about my family situation. Grief for those I’ve lost. Grief over failed expectations.
All that grief – it ain’t healthy. Not dealing with it seems to be contributing to my continuous battle with depression.
I need to – needed to – grieve properly. That raging, almost uncontrolled kind of grief where you cry so much that your nose runs right into your mouth and you look like an impudent four year old throwing a tantrum because you didn’t get the last cookie.
It’s healing to cry like that. I am now a true convert to the benefits of wailing. As loud as possible if the situation permits. When you wail it is as if something deep within your guts is released. Set free. That knot that has been pushing on your large intestine just disappears. There is also the added benefit of scaring your neighbours who you don’t like. There is something empowering about seeing the fear in their eyes as you both check your mail at the same time. I got a letter in a blue envelope, you say. They swallow nervously, not sure if you are a simpleton or a psycho. Not keen to wait around they take the stairs three at a time and double lock the front door.
Aaah. The benefits of wailing. I should have taken it up long ago. It definitely is good for the soul.
And when it’s all over there is the most beautiful, glistening, new stars shining, dream making, inner greening, lustrous silence.