Some Days

Here is the prompt for Magpie Tales this week.

I do so love participating in this. If you haven’t already why not give it a try?

Here is my tiny tale –

The sun came out of the rain and I was able at last to pull the window wide to the day.

The morning light caught me, a glance, russet and beige, strained through rusty clouds.

The corners of the room smelling of coats dragged on wet pathways stood to attention, whipped by the wind pushing through the trees.

Another night was gone.

The morning unfolded but the mystery lingered.

The night and all its interlinking webs.

I push the window tight at night like a door to a tomb.

I dream of being safe at night, of my mind being clear enough to sleep; but I am neither safe nor filled with clarity.

Sleep doesn’t come. In spite of pills and booze and milk hot enough to blister lips. I am convinced tryptophan and vodka counteract one another. I am a hyperactive child clawing at the walls, a wolf howling at the moon. The shapes in the room are foreign, a battlefield.

Sleep crawls on elbows and knees, a snake with an apple. Taunting me.

I close my eyes tight, stubborn as a child holding her breath; black spots dance like paper being inked; they are conspirators – selling the sleep down the river.

It is impossible to banish the voices. When I told my doctor of the voices at night she offered Seroquel, thinking I heard Jesus or Jim Morrison. I could not tell her it was my mother’s voice. My friend’s. And yours.

All the people who have left.

The voices coat the walls, shadow paint, thick and coarse as if applied with damaged brushes.

The shadows fall on my face and push inwards.

Most nights I wait.

The window frame is warped at the edges. The dawn light slides through the chink, a silk shawl spilling. Seeing that light is what hope is.

I unfasten the window, feeling like I could sing in the unwilted air and let the ghosts out of the room.

The room is contoured with sunlight. I am on top of a hill being washed clean.

At night the bed is as thin as ribbon.

Now it is wide as the space through the window.

Wider.

I lie, the bedspread apprehended by light.

And sleep.

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23 thoughts on “Some Days

  1. WOW! I love your visual descriptions that pull our the powerful feelings we have when sleep is the enemy…… and will only arrive when the light appears.
    I thank God for blogging/writing. It has saved me from the shadow walls and the incessant “talk” going on in the middle of the night.
    Great writing Selma.
    I should try this prompt too. I never have.

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  2. nice. your imagery is superb….smiles at the part about the voices….the voices in my head keep me awake as well…thought why is it they wait until i am just about asleep…

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  3. “At night the bed is as thin as ribbon.”

    How in the world did you come up with that one? My absolute favorite line in the midst of a powerful post. The imagery is stunning!

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  4. Hi AWARENESS:
    I would love if you tried this prompt. I know you would enjoy it. Even though I still regularly suffer from insomnia I find that blogging has helped me enormously because I can write about it and get it all out. That has to be a good thing.

    Hi SINGER:
    You are far too kind. I really appreciate you saying that!

    Hi DEBORAH:
    That is lovely of you to say so!

    Hi BRIAN:
    I will admit I stole the bit about Jim Morrison from Wayne’s World 2. When Wayne wants to put on the concert he keeps having visions of Jim Morrison. The humour in that has always made me chuckle!

    Hi ONE PRAYER GIRL:
    I am really glad you liked it and I appreciate you stopping by!

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  5. Hi LENA:
    There are so many webs at night, aren’t there? For some reason they don’t seem to be as noticeable during the day….

    Hi WILLOW:
    Oh, absolutely!

    Hi LEO:
    I am forced to write stories because well, my poetry sucks. I have to be honest and say I am not a poet. I agree with you – it is nice to have a bit of a change. Thank you so much for visiting!

    Hi MELEAH:
    I’ve tried all sorts of weird concoctions to get to sleep. They crack me up too.

    Hi WENDY:
    If I can brighten your day in any way I am really glad πŸ˜€

    Hi TUMBLEWORDS:
    It is amazing what the night brings. I get some of my best inspiration from the night. Love it !

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  6. Hi RENE:
    I do love the dark imagery. It just provides me with so much scope. So nice of you to visit.

    Hi LIBBY:
    Oh, me too. It would be bliss.

    Hi JOANNY:
    Oh it is definitely good to quell those voices. Hallelujah!!

    Hi GABRIELLE:
    I agree. Couldn’t have coped with too much more angst. LOLZ!

    HI GERALDINE:
    Thanks, G. Always love that you keep reading…..

    Hi TIMOTEO:
    You are far too lovely to me. Your comment really means a lot….

    Hi AINE:
    It just came to me. Sometimes at night when I can’t sleep the bed seems tiny. It’s a weird thing. It was quite cathartic to write this cos I’ve had a good sleep ever since!

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