Delirium

I have been sick as a dog all week. Why do people say that?

I’m as sick as a dog.

Are dogs prone to a more dramatic, virulent kind of sickness than anyone else?

If that’s the case then it must suck a bit to be a dog.

I usually don’t get flus like the one I’m recovering from. I’m a sore throat, occasional tummy bug kind of person not this full-metal-jacket-apocalypse-is-nigh-all-shaking-all-sweating-can’t-get-out-of-bed-can’t-remember-who-I-am thing.

Influenza.

It’s a dirty word.

I got a fever. I never get fevers.

40.2 degrees C. In all the years I have been sick, even when I had that bad bout of tonsilitis when I was a kid I didn’t get a fever.

The fever made me delirious for one night.

Delirium is the wildest, weirdest dreamscape-while-still awake you’ve ever experienced.

I imagined I was walking through the city. I was a tiny speck of a person constantly being assailed by enormous buildings, looming, leaning towards me. The colors were green, grey, white and black all mixed together as if the world had been turned into a gigantic X-ray. It was like being plunged right into the Matrix or finding myself on the set of a Tim Burton film.

The world of delirium is a gothic world where shadows of neolithic birds sidle across your ceiling and men in long black coats peer at you through the windows.

And sometimes as the fever mounts, even weirder things happen like Charlie Sheen sitting on your bed reading a Betty And Veronica comic and he says that he would want to date Betty if she were a real girl but you just know the truth of the matter is he’d be all over Veronica like a rash.

And that she might just be tough enough to sort him out.

Thank God the delirium has passed.

Now it’s time to read all the blogs I have missed out on this week.

I also wanted to let you know that I did a guest post on the wonderful Gabrielle Bryden’s blog this week. I think I might have been in the grip of delirium when I wrote it. I know that Gabrielle would love it if you were to pay her a visit. I would love it too. So much so that I might actually once again become delirious.

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15 thoughts on “Delirium

  1. Sorry you have been ‘sick as a dog’; hahaha, sounds like you were on a trip! I think that expression comes cos dogs tails hang down when they are not well (those with tails, anyway) so they have a hang-dog look. Sorry to laugh :D, and I really hope you are much better now. BTW how did you do the link to my site? You can tell me if it’s something simple – otherwise not.

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  2. Sorry to hear you were ‘sick as a dog’. I now hope you are as fit as a fiddle and happy as a lark!

    Selma who lives in the city
    Contracted the flu, more’s the pity.
    But after some days
    Of delirious haze,
    She no longer feels quite so shitty!

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  3. Now, if you’d been a football commentator, you’d have been as sick as a parrot! πŸ˜€

    My old doctor gave me an infallible test for flu. Imagine you look out of your window and see a Β£20 note lying on the lawn. If you’re prepared to put your coat and shoes on, and go and pick it up, you just have a bad cold. If you’re not, you have flu.

    I think I’ve only had flu (and hallucinations) once … I told Auntie Margaret that every time I picked up a book to read, it burst into flames, and her saying gently ‘There are no books here!’

    And, I’m sure I heard her asking my mother ‘What the hell are you giving that lad?’

    Or, did I only dream it?

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  4. Hi DEBORAH:
    It is typical I should see Charlie Sheen. I think he was more delirious than I was this week. LOLZ.

    Hi ADEEYOYO:
    Oh, of course. It’s all to do with the tails hanging down. Now that makes sense.

    When you press on the LIKE button up above WordPress automatically links to you. I think it is quite a cool feature. I am enjoying reading your blog, by the way and it is great to have met you via Gabrielle!

    Hi STAFFORD:
    One of your greats. I will treasure that poem forever and will read it whenever the lurgy hits me. I am not as fit as a fiddle just yet because nearly all the gilt was taken off the gingerbread. Right now I am fit as a flea but I hope to progress to a fiddle soon. If I’m lucky I might become as fit as a trout. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

    Hi TRAVELRAT:
    Love the flu test. I would have failed it this week. I was too busy talking to Charlie Sheen. Hahaha.

    The book bursting into flames is a great image. Part Harry Potter, part Book of Revelation. Love it!!

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  5. You poor thing – you are having the New Year from hell, it would appear – hope you are feeling better. Sounds like some delirium – haha – very funny (as usual). Thanks for the pingback πŸ™‚

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  6. Now I have to google “sick as a dog.” I was down for a week.. missed five days of work. The kids started it but got better quicker. So I feel for you big time. You know, being in a Tim Burton film isn’t so bad if Johnny Depp is in it… I’m just sayin! LOL! Feel better!

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  7. Hi Selma,
    Nothing worse than not feeling well. You must of been really sick to start seeing Charlie Sheen. πŸ™‚
    Glad to hear the fever has passed, and life is getting back to normal.

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  8. Hi GABRIELLE:
    It’s character building, that’s the way I look at it. I figure that by the end of it I will be like some kind of superhero, which is, of course, my ultimate dream. I’ve already designed the cape in my head – very Alexander McQueen.

    Thanks so much for letting me do the guest post. It was so much fun!!

    Hi SLAMDUNK:
    It is awful when they get passed around. I hope you and your family are feeling a lot better now. Great to hear from you!

    Hi KATHERINE:
    Oh no. Sounds like you and I might have had the same thing. It’s awful when you’re sick for that long, isn’t it?

    I hear ya loud and clear re. Johnny Depp. ROWR!!! How gorgeous is that guy????
    So nice to have you visit!

    Hi MAGS:
    Seeing Charlie didn’t aid my recovery, I can tell you. Haha. Funny the way the mind works. I’d been reading about him and then I imagine I see him. It was very unsettling. I’m glad the fever has gone!!

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  9. Boy, do I know that feeling! It really knocked me back when I had it in January. I’m glad you’re doing better, it really is a nasty, knock you on your ass type of flu this year.

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  10. I’ve been that sick once – too sick to get out of bed and get myself to the doctor. It’s a strange and psychedelic experience! Flu is not to be underestimated. I’m glad you’re feeling better!

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  11. Hi CATHY:
    It was an absolute shocker. So glad it’s gone. I hope that’s it for the year now. I don’t want to go through that again in a hurry!

    Hi JENNIFER:
    It really is psychedelic. What a great way to describe it. And we should never underestimate it. I am definitely on the mend now!

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  12. Hi MELEAH:
    It is hard being that sick. I know you’ve had some terrible flus and stuff lately too. I hope we stay nice and healthy for a bit πŸ˜€

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