A lot of people say that you shouldn’t talk about negative stuff on your blog. I completely disagree with that as you might expect. I want to talk about real life here – the good, the bad, the raw, stinking guts of it.
Last week I didn’t feel like blogging at all. I felt incredibly disenchanted. Disheartened, possibly disillusioned.
It’s tough to make a living in Sydney. I’ve talked about it before. The economy is really bad right now and anyone who says it isn’t is probably in one of the ultimate, tea and slippers stages of denial or is high. Maybe both.
But that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about when people give up. What is it that takes them to the point where they simply cannot go on, where they can find nothing at all to cling to that will give them hope?
I have been in some terribly dark places over the past few years; so dark I was afraid I would never see the light again. Depression will do that, stress will do that, debt will do that. I have had people I thought I could rely on turn their backs on me not because I am a bad person but because they can handle my situation less than I can. Some people cannot face really bad shit and that is the truth. I’m not saying that as a criticism because I understand how heart-wrenching it is to see someone you know in the depths of despair.
I read this story in the news last week and it really upset me.
A man shot his wife and three beloved dogs before killing himself due to money worries.
It upset me so much because I had just learned that a friend of our family who runs a cafe in the city took an overdose of pills last week due to financial problems. I had no idea until last week that he was in any kind of financial trouble but as it turns out his debts exceed a million dollars. The economy has been so bad that in the past six months his turnover has dropped by more than 50%. He refurbished his cafe about 18 months ago (hence the large loans) expecting his turnover to pay the money back; but the turnover is gone and the loans remain. It is a very common story.
Our friend is alive but he doesn’t want to be. I saw it when I visited him in hospital last week. There is nothing you can say in a situation like that. Nothing. You just have to stand there and hold that person’s hand.
Money. It causes so much trouble. It really is the root of all evil. It’s so hard to fight it because it just takes hold of everything. I am steeling myself because I am going to do all that is in my power to ensure our friend can regain a sense of hope – even the smallest sense – I am going to try and make him see that you can claw your way up out of the pit back into the light. That it’s not the debt that will kill you, it’s the giving up. It will make me really happy if even the tiniest sliver of light gets through to him. But it’s going to be a hard road.
Life. It doesn’t get any easier, does it? But what the hard times have taught me is that there is always a solution, that you can deal with the things you thought you couldn’t, that you can open that closed door.
The hard times have also taught me that the beautiful things in life, the most blessed things, are all around us. And guess what? They are all free. All you have to do is open your eyes and look. And they will sustain you – like the city turning pink and glimmery at sunset.
Say it to yourself every morning……
…… and every night.